I was at my gay neighbors last night with some of my other neighbors and one of Kevin’s female semi-Fag-Hag. They were coloring Easter eggs and yucking it up. Lindsey is a chubby asian girl who is not the least attractive to me. She must have mentioned she was going to have sex with her husband Joe, Kevin piped in and said “Oh so you are going to put out for Joe this evening”
Me being a smartass I said “My middle name is Joe!” ( its not but I thought it was mildly funny….I don’t have that much to say when I’m around these guys as we have very little in common so I guess I just said it and laughed. ) Of course since fat Lindsay is an American Fat Chick she must have taken it seriously or offense from some angle. To quote Alicia Silverstone “AS IF!”. ONLY in America could a girl this ugly allow her ego to run so far amok as to believe I meant something by this. This offense was not registered with me in any form. In fact in retrospect if she did not want to hear any comments why would she start talking about her sex life in public room with at least 5 people in it.
Later I sat here at the computer with my door open to the cool Phoenix evening air and her husband Joe who has a biker style mustache / beard affair walks into my condo without knocking and starts going off on me about his wife. I tried to make it clear that I had absolutely no interest in his wife WHATSOEVER. I, in a very politic manner, did not say she’s a fat ugly cow ( for pete sake a fat asian ….. I’m not accustomed to that as my Japanese ex was extremely svelte and attractive ). When he started threatening me I pushed him back out my door. He’s not small but neither am I so I think he got more than he bargained for. But what if I would have been a little 150 lbs fart-knocker? would that have been more fair ?
The loud conversation continued outside with me continuing to inform him repeatedly that I’m not interested in his diary cow. ( more politely stated as “his wife” ). When he took a swing at me I put him in a choke hold. When he tried to get up I dropped my 250 lbs on him. Then for fun I pulled his tee-shirt up over his head so he couldn’t see and pushed his head lightly into my yard wall. I do mean lightly because by this time I was wondering if it could be brought to a close politically. All of this is very high school and so do forgive but I really had no choice in the matter. This guy was a little big and thought he was a tough guy. What was I supposed to do let him hit me? Even when I let him up he was still verbally abusive and physically trying to menace me. I’ll end this part of the story here but my neighbors managed to put themselves in between him and me and somehow talk the knucklehead into going back over to Kevin and Zachs place.
This sort of stupid chinese cluster fuck so clearly illustrates to me how when dealing with the irrational such as the Iranians you have to be prepared to strike and strike hard. These guys have already walked in our back door by taking the British sailors. In any kind of brawl whether its some nimrod taking a swing at me no matter how “innocent” or such people can be hurt. EASILY HURT. That’s why fighting is frowned upon by the cops. That’s why they don’t take it lightly when you resist arrest. All you folks that have not been in a brawl might think everythings just fine and have some romantic notion about an Irish brawl but that’s all patent bullshit. People regularly are permanently maimed or killed by this sort of ass grabbing contest. This is why the clear thinking AKA - conservatives insist on a strong military and don’t want to play patty cake with truly menacing folks like the Iranians. This is stick - pike - sword - gun - bomb - kidnapping - nuclear detonation time and its not anything to look forward to. Its not a Clint Eastwood movie where playing fair gets you a medal and the bad guy winds up pushing up daisies. If good wants to win it has to prepare.
So now put yourself in my place. In a wresting match with a dumb sonofabitch and if you don’t contain the guy you’re likely to get wounded or killed. Now imagine that dumb fark has a gun. Now imagine he has a nuke.