For purposes of discussion we are talking about someone you cared for in the past like an exgirlfriend.
Think about it. What is the opposite of love ? Hate is actually just another face of that love. In the case of normal situations the opposite of love is apathy.
I know this is true from experience. Study yourself long enough and you can do nothing but agree. It is based on the laws of physics.
You own and business and you want to encourage gym usage on the part of your employees. What is the optimum method? Do you pay the total cost of the membership? The smartest solution is how the owner of EFDATA Bob Fitting handled gym memberships. Gym memberships were subsidized but not free. His explanation was if its free EVERYBODY signs up and they 1 in 10 uses what his company paid for. His solution? It was to charge a nominal fee large enough that you had to really WANT to use the membership or it made no sense. It was like 20 bucks a month. Just enough to make them make a decision. This is a flip side view of the same idea that people do not respect things they get for a low cost. For example if you are too nice unless the person(s) you are dealing with are very mature and have alot of experience dealing with people you are bound to get short shrift. Even then it pays to toughen up sometimes. But then some people are just so sweet they are really not capable of stinking the place up. Its a delicate balance knowing when to spray. What does Mr. Skanks say?
The practical fact is its lame being a follower. That's what you are doing when you play for acceptance.
I had a friend in middle and high school. His name was Nick. Nick was always thinking about what was cool. He had a black leather jacket. He was an adrenaline junky. He liked his rushes. He was my best friend all through that time. When we graduated high school I went off to college. After a couple of years he headed out to San Francisco. Do you know how uncool it is to be such a follower ? ….latching onto every lame fad and fashion including global warming? A person is never so uncool as when they are playing for acceptance. Go your own way. Think for yourself for a change. You will wonder how your life got so much better! Nick should have learned that from me. When we were in high school he got into trouble on various occassions. I had a knack of knowing when he was up to something and finding something else to do. He and another friend of his used to act like I was not cool. I didn't care. Because my ego is big enough to accept that others don't approve of me for one reason or another. In fact its one of my most self cherished traits to be so stubbornly egotistical. But Nick did not learn. About 1987 he called me up and asked for money. I poor mouthed and said I did not have any. Later I found out he loaned some money off of his brother and did not pay it back. Up to that time he had managed his risks and come through untouched. But Nick loved his rushes. And he did not have the self discipline that comes from that comes from not playing to acceptance and saying no when its the right thing to do. So he ended up shooting up meth with one of his cohorts up there. Only problem was he didn't take the time to get his own needle. Any needle would have done. He probably could have soaked any old needle out of the dump in Clorox making sure to pump it through the needle. But no that would have been uncool. And nothing got in the way of being uncool for Nick. I mean really even if you're a tweaker you don't have to be stupid. So he ended up with HIV. Since he had tried to rip me off he never called. I never called him because my spider sense that I had developed around him in high school told me not to. There is no helping an accident waiting to happen. But let me repeat there is no time when you are more uncool as when you are following the crowd. Especially if a needle is involved.
An update to this story. Three years after writing this story in May of 2011 Nick died as a from falling off a ladder and breaking a hip and the resultant infection that occurred. Rest in Peace my friend. I learned much from you. I only wish you had learned the most important thing I had to offer you with my nonconformity.
She's the original Amazing Asian.
A little Stacy with mother Yoko.
I'm cleaning up this place because I'm planning on making a big move. I ran across this momento and decided its time to let go of it. Its the cake decoration from a cake that was delivered to me at Honeywell on my 30th birthday. The bird is a vulture. It was a "death because you are 30 years old" theme cake. It was from a girl who was crazy beautiful and crazy-crazy. I first spotted her at Squaw Peak when I was driving in to park and hike. I took one look and was amazed by beautiful and vibrant she appeared. I' would never end up dating her would I? She looked directly in through my windshield with a penetrating look.
Later on top of the mountain I encountered her with her male friend and introduced myself. In those days I was pretty enough to pull off such an introduction while a lady was on a date. Turns out she was getting a math/physics degree from NAU and she is very intelligent. But then super attractive super intelligent women have alot of options don't they? Its remarkable what a little mental instability can do to make a very attractive girl even more attractive. This elusive animal that you seek in the endless maze that is dating hoping not to see the elusive prey scurry off beyond your reach. You have to have be elusive yourself and lure them to you. Once they are in close enough you can latch on and give it your best shot to make them your own. Of course the most likely scenario is that you should be trying to keep this sort of green spotted jaguar. They'll most likely turn on you and claw you in their need to escape just as this one did to me.
We went out once and had a good time but she was elusive. I tried the good boy routine with signalling the wide open I am all yours approach and it did not work. At the point I lapsed back into my normal routine of chatting up all the pretty ones on Squaw Peak. On several occassions as she descended she would pass me walking up with a pretty thing. It was not long before she made herself more available. At that point we had a good 4 monthes together where I have to saw I quite enjoyed myself.
Being the tenacious monkey that I am I kept track all these years. She ended up marrying a fellow that now suffers taking care of her a bit like a child because you see when you have so many options you can afford to lean on people. If said people complain you move on to your next option and essentially that is what she did with me when I did not give her exactly what she wanted in spite of my trying.
Oh well. What might have been with a little more willingness to work on her part. I will always remember this time and how it lead to a much more fully actualized person and a much happier me. At least its not me baby sitting her. Me? I want a partner. So it is time to let go.. Bye Bye Birdie. Danna whereever you are I hope you are happy and having a good time. I will never forget our adventures.