The following events occurred between 1:20 and 1:35 pm, February 15,2001
After class today I felt a large movement coming on.  I wanted a chocolate muffin too so as I was near the MU I decided muffin first.  I got the muffin and then decided I really needed to go….but it just does not look right to take a poo while eating a chocolate muffin. I then calculated that I would get about to the bookstore by the time I finished the muffin and then duck in to use the banos ( bathroom). My calculations were inpecable as always.
I tossed the muffin wrapper just in front of the bookstore and then ducked in.  To my dismay the restroom was blocked off and said closed for painting. It was getting critical by this time so I walked down a short way to the athletic building and ducked in. I had a hard time finding a restroom
at all there….I did finally find it.  I walked to it and saw a sign for men/women/handicrapped/ stall with no visual blocking wall and thought…well I am desparate…..So I turn around and see a lock as you would expect…I shut the door and try to lock it….the lock wont bolt.  At this point I imagine a lady walking in on me and saying….” What is that? some sort of anti -bacterial crow-tch?”  As I try to hover my ass above the toilet in public restrooms.  I know some guys love wizzing all over the seat and laugh. I quickly leave…its red alert time now.  I hit the ASU law library next. Now if you ever have been in this building you immediately notice its not square. Its domed. When you go inside its a highly non-euclidean
universe twisting back upon itself that forms a maze.  I made 3 laps in this building ending up where I began each time before I found the bathroom.  I was beginning to think I would have to consult stephan hawkings and warp time to find the banos.  I finally did find it not a moment
too soon and survived to write this story.
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