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Mathematical Living for a Better Tomorrow

April 2nd, 2008

Can we return McCain to the North Vietnamese? I hope I saved the sales slip


McCains lecturing perfectly good Americans that they’re too cynical and they need a good dose of public service.

…..I’m pretty sure the North Vietnamese would not take him back.  You think what the NV did to him is bad. I’m truly surprised that he didn’t just start talking and bore his captors to death.  Or like his lecture maybe induce a near fatal groan.  The more he says the worse it gets.  

I hate politicians as a matter of principle.  Yet I find myself thinking he needs to fire his advisors and hire me.  I could do better than his current team.  It take a concentrated effore to do worse. Its like listening to a power saw cut through wood.  When the sound stiops you’re happy to rid of its painful influence.

April 2nd, 2008

Government taps into DataBases in the name of Anti Terrorism - Government pHelps Themselves to your Financial Rectal Area


Full arty here:  Centers Tap Into Personal Databases

Intelligence centers run by states across the country have access to personal information about millions of Americans, including unlisted cellphone numbers, insurance claims, driver’s license photographs and credit reports, according to a document obtained by Washington Post.

One center also has access to top-secret data systems at the cia, the document shows, though it’s not clear what information those systems contain.

Dozens of the organizations known as fusion centers were created after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks to identify potential threats and improve the way information is shared. The centers use law enforcement analysts and sophisticated computer systems to compile, or fuse, disparate tips and clues and pass along the refined information to other agencies. They are expected to play important roles in national information-sharing networks that link local, state and federal authorities and enable them to automatically sift their storehouses of records for patterns and clues.


If you think this is just Mr Phelps for now that might be true.  But sooner or later some politician, most likely a democrat is going to pHelp themselves to your data.  The purpose will of course be purported to be anti-terrorism but when they find nothing they will stamp you a tax cheat and send you a bill and maybe to prison.  You know it will happen. They simply can’t pHelp themselves.  Ah America.  It was such a paradise of freedom before the politicians pHelped us to death.  There are so many places that are socialist. Can’t we have one country on Earth where we let high acheivers make good and keep the proceeds? Must we rob everyone by pHelping ourselves to the fruits of their labor?   

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pHelp yourself, do not rely on the govCheese.

April 2nd, 2008

The funniest monsters - Mummies and Frankenstein


  

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 I’m not sure which is funnier mummies or Frankenstein. 

Have you ever been on the phone were your friend is talking endlessly? You’re obliged to give the acknowledgement sound to puncuate the end of each sub-idea.  Uh-huh.  They just keep going mm mmmm.   And you keep uh huhing.  After a while you go from the 2 syllable confirmation to the 1 syllable confirmation.  Mmmmm.  Know what I mean? Yuh.   Normal confirmations sound like this.

Thats when it hits you. You feel like brain dead Frankenstein with your 1 syllable confirmations.  So you start taking it there.  This is pretty funny for both parties involved.  Frankenstein confirmations sound like this.  Add some gravelly undertones and its the mummy confirmation.

If the person is really getting on your nerves use the French confirmation.  If properly done the French confirmation can be done so mockingly that the person ends up very angry and hangs up the phone.  French confirmations sound like this

 

April 2nd, 2008

Latka Gravas ID Photos


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Every time I try to get an identification photo I end up trying to make sure my eyes are open when they click the button.  That leads inevitably to the Latka Gravas super wide open eyes look and some serious laughter.  When I look at my photo most of the time I end up wondering how I ever got laid.  Luckily women must look at something completely different than I do!

 

April 2nd, 2008

Amy Holmes is an Idiot


If this is what you are googling you have arrived at the correct location.  Amy Holmes is not an idiot. You are. You are also a racist.

Just because Amy is not down for your girly boy femmy democrat programs and to be nigga on your Democrat plantation you are furious.

Well that’s just too bad.  You are a NJF and need to know it. With self awareness comes the dissolution of old patterns. Sorry to inform

you but Amy is smarter than you.  So am I. You’re reading this aren’t you?

…..And Amy my offer of marriage still applies. :)

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