Archive for June 16th, 2008

Barrack Obama must be ready to take a fall

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Al Gore just endorsed B.O. Only possible conclusion is that B.O. is about to make an incredible gaff of some sort. I truly feel sorry for anyone who ever thinks Al Gore is anything but a fool and a charlatan. He is transparent to the point of being painful. In a world where politicians are so obviously frauds it is however an accomplishment to be so bad at what you do. How you citizens allow yourselves to be ruled by such tyrants and in the case of Al Gore, Idiots is hard for me to understand.

We risk economic collapse by not drilling where there is oil in the USA

Monday, June 16th, 2008

I am expressing what is more than a logical conclusion about the USA when I say that USA is risking economic collapse.   When I was returning to the USA on American Airlines I talked to several americans.  When we got to the topic of oil they all agreed with me.  We all have the sensation that the USA is in danger of economic collapse.   I think that part of this comes from the dollar falling by a factor of 2X over the past few years. Our best insurance would be to drill anywhere and everywhere there is oil.  It would serve 3 purposes: -1- immediately affect the oil futures market and form a disincentive for oil speculation -2- decrease trade deficit -3- strengthen dollar I am sure because of the dollars weakness it that we will be drilling sooner or later.  Its only a matter of time now. The problem is that the longer we wait the more painful it is going to be.

One Breath

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Is short for "one breath of air" used to enter lower s-star rated crappers.  With this one breath you try to enter said bathroom, apply ass gasket, do your business and exit before needing to take another breath.  This is greatly facilitated by availability and use of a handicrapper.

Handicrapper

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Handicrapper is a portmanteau of Handicapped and Crapper and a play on the word handy ( in the sense of facile ). The wry sense of humor in the phrase comes in to play because it sounds like handicapped which is the real reason why the stall is larger. I have been a proponent of larger stalls everywhere for a long time now.  This increased space makes manuevering easier to do.    This should be the main and most significant issue ever raised by congress. Its just about a politicians mental speed limit.     The larger size facilitates the one breath application of ass gasket, defecation and high speed exit of lower s-star rated bathrooms.

S-Star Bathroom rating system

Monday, June 16th, 2008

The s-star system rating system runs on a 1-5 star scale. 1 being the crappiest and 5 being "The Shit"

Definition:Ass Gasket

Monday, June 16th, 2008

This is the paper butt protector available in 3 s-star or better restrooms.

Scrapies is Deadly

Monday, June 16th, 2008

If you have ever been in a poorly maintained loo you may have seen a toilet with a chronic condition of scrapies.  This is where the toilet goes spinning round making its mark on the toilet in a semi arc.  Severity of the disease is rated as follows * Less than 1/4 turn : initial phases of the disease * Less than 1/2 turn : moderate secondary phase of scrappies. * Near full turn:  Severe case of scrappies.  Ass gasket are recommended when using this toilet.

Political Squeaky Chew Toys

Monday, June 16th, 2008

If you watch politics any amount it is evident that most if not all politicians are in politics because they want money and power.  Their misplaced egos are on parade every day of the week for those who bother to see it.  Its amazing to see how people so useless can think themselves so superior. What we need is some form of harmless social process that will keep them extremely busy gratifying their overbloated self images while at the same time doing no damage to society and economy.  

 It is this thought that lead me to invent the Political Squeaky Chew Toy.   We can sell them at Walmarts everywhere.