Fudgy McFarlen

I watched a TV show called Air Emergencies last night.  This particular show detailed the story of how an Egyptian Air pilot dove and airplane into the sea killing everyone on board and destroying the artwork of technology that is a Boeing 767. Investigators learned that  Gameel Al-Batouti was supposedly reprimanded for inappropriate behavior with female guests at the hotel pennsylvania , a New York City hotel often used by EgyptAir crews. Hatem Roushdy, an EgyptAir official said to be responsible for the alleged reprimand was a passenger on Flight 990. The details of the reprimand included the removal of Gameel Al-Batouti's privilege of flying any flight to the United States, and that Flight 990 would be his last. I could have advised the people involved in this incident because I learned a hard lesson several years back. That lesson is:     DO NOT BREAK UP WITH HER ON THE WAY TO YOUR VACATION DESTINATION. I was dating a American nurse.  She had a really hot body.  Unfortunately she also had the bad bitch attitude that most attractive American women have.  She invited me to go to Ouray Colorado.  When we were in the car she informed me that I was paying all the expenses!  Typical !  …  Being a manly man I assumed that if I invited her to go somewhere I wanted to go that I would pay everything.  But her idea of a smart vacation was to invite me to go and then on the way there invite me to pay for it all.  I had already had enough of her attitude up to that point.  I decided I could not take it any more and wanted to break up with her.  Unfortunately at the time I was inexperienced with women.  So by the time we hit the first part of Colorado after leaving Arizona I mentioned that I do not think we should see each other after we get back to Arizona.  She was that annoying that I felt it imperative to say it right away. Long story short after reaching Ouray she proceeded to alternate between a prementrual rage where she wielded a carved wooden pine tree like a club and then acting apologetic.  After a bit she called the local sheriff not once but twice.  First time she said ooh no problem we worked it out.  Second time in the morning I said I had enough and asked the sheriff for a ride to the country line.  In the end I paid about 500 for a rental car to drive back to Arizona. TakeAway lesson:  Wait till you are back to break up with her. Which brings me to the Egypt Air crash.  If I would have been there I would have suggested not telling Gameel Al-Batouti until he was comfortably back in Egypt.  They he would not have a plane under his control shortly after being canned.  He would also have family to comfort him.  He was obviously mentally unstable from one aspect or another and familiar surroundings and a cooling down period would have helped. Unfortunately we all learn this lesson the hard way.  My lesson was relatively cheap compared to getting obliterated in an air crash.  Unfortunately those who populate government and high places in business often are priviledged and do not have adequate life experience bring to bear on judgements.

Is short for "one breath of air" used to enter lower s-star rated crappers.  With this one breath you try to enter said bathroom, apply ass gasket, do your business and exit before needing to take another breath.  This is greatly facilitated by availability and use of a handicrapper.

Handicrapper is a portmanteau of Handicapped and Crapper and a play on the word handy ( in the sense of facile ). The wry sense of humor in the phrase comes in to play because it sounds like handicapped which is the real reason why the stall is larger. I have been a proponent of larger stalls everywhere for a long time now.  This increased space makes manuevering easier to do.    This should be the main and most significant issue ever raised by congress. Its just about a politicians mental speed limit.     The larger size facilitates the one breath application of ass gasket, defecation and high speed exit of lower s-star rated bathrooms.

The s-star system rating system runs on a 1-5 star scale. 1 being the crappiest and 5 being "The Shit"

If you have ever been in a poorly maintained loo you may have seen a toilet with a chronic condition of scrapies.  This is where the toilet goes spinning round making its mark on the toilet in a semi arc.  Severity of the disease is rated as follows * Less than 1/4 turn : initial phases of the disease * Less than 1/2 turn : moderate secondary phase of scrappies. * Near full turn:  Severe case of scrappies.  Ass gasket are recommended when using this toilet.

Not into politics?  You too can become a Human Mobius Strip with the Up Periscope Anal Self Exploration kit.   Some liberals have actually reported seeing their brains while on self exploration missions.

This pirate looks overjoyed to be the fuzzy captains hat spokes-model

TAS an abbreviation for Tattered Asshole Syndrome.  This is a real risk for working in the porn industry for women and gay men. It is also a metaphoric risk for us living in societies dominated by Lawyer-Politicians.

Not to be confused with Instant Asshole Syndrome.