Useful Thoughts and Actions Taken

Popeye the Sayler Man

The origin of Saler man is when I was talking to a Brazilian friend whose English is very good if you consider he has never been to an English speaking country.  He tried to say a person was a salesman.  "He is a Saylor-Man" was how it came out.  Ever since then I call salesmen sailor men. On a side note we were driving down a highway in Brazil and we drove past an attractive young lady selling her body to people by the side of the highway.  He saw here and said "she's a road horse"…which was pretty funny considering we'd just driving past some horses tied up in such a fashion as to clip the grass while eating it.

By Fudgy McFarlen, ago

Adult Koolaid made of Jasmine Tea Sunny Delight and Cranberry Juice

Ever notice you want your cup of coffee everyday? Think its because you like the taste? Think again. I was on a habit of 1 strong cup of coffee everyday for quite some time.  At some point I started drinking alot of green tea. At some later point I realized that that I had forgotten to have a cup of coffee for everyday in the last 6 weeks.  Your body has subliminal habits ingrained more deeply than you possibly know. Thus if you want to stop your coffee habit first substitute a tea based caffeine habit.  The best recipe for flavor is the following: 1- fill a glass up with cold Jasmine tea that has been made to suit your tastes. 2- add a dollup of Sunny Delight ( probably the only legitimate use of Sunny Dee there is! Who would drink this stuff straight?? ) 3- add a dollup of cranberry juice. You'll be surprised at the sublime aeromatic nature of the flavor. You may drink it to excess and get a little agitated.  However in the process you can easily substitute this tea completely for the coffee you have been drinking.  If you want to completely kick your caffeine habit you can then start drinking less tea. Since tea has a calmative in addition to the caffeine it appears to me to be much easier to quite than the rough edged cousin coffee.  

By Fudgy McFarlen, ago

Brazilian Rubbing Alcohol is Ethanol and smells like caramel

You can buy ethanol alcohol very cheaply in Brazil.  It is very cheap.  It is very concentrated and people use it to start their barbeque grills.   I like it because when you rub it on your skin it smells faintly of caramel.  Also the part that absorbs into your body is the type of alcohol your body tolerates well.   Its hard to describe the smell but like other liquors you can't completely remove the essence of the source material that was fermented to make it.

By Fudgy McFarlen, ago

Carrie and the Retarded Rapist

I had a female roomate once. Carrie was an extremely fun and interesting person.  She told the story once of an attempted rape. She was working at a summer camp and was riding her bike to town. The camp was in rural Illinois. She was riding along and man grabbed her handle bars and pulled her into a corn field.  The guy was obviously not quite right.  He told her to take her clothes off.  She said "I am not going to fight you and I'm not going to tell anyone about this"   Well as it turns out the guy could not get an erection.  He needed the increased blood pressure do to the rush of a struggling woman to get hard.  He finally gave up.  She promptly went to the police and he was arrested.  Retardo Maltaban had done some sort of similar assault before were he had raped someone and had finally been released only to do it again.  If more women kept cool heads in tough situations the world would do better.  And the retard?   Rape used to be a capital crime.  These people should not reproduce. 

By Fudgy McFarlen, ago

FartMaster 2000 Reprised

This page is a tribute to a good friends first visual basic application in the mid 1990's.  At the time I had a copy of VB5 and had a total mind block as to how it worked.  You see I was accustomed to old style coding.  Windows uses a type of coding that is "event driven".  Often when I have a mental block such as this I go to this friend and many times he breezily picks up the stuff.  At that point I usually go aha! THAT'S what they mean and through monkey see monkey do I go on my merry way.  Thus I want to make it perfectly clear I am not the author of FartMaster 2000 and can in no way claim credit for this great creation of western culture.

A side story on this is quite funny.  Shortly after this was coded I passed a copy to my girlfriend's son who proceeded to really like it and obsessively play the sounds.  This drove his sister nuts as you know it would most women as they do not share our masculine preoccupation with great farts and their high fidelity simulations.

If the embedded media players do not work you can click on the photos

rattler.jpg

By Fudgy McFarlen, ago